Before I left the work force to become a full-time mom, as well as a rich and famous Patch contributor, I worked for 20 years straight in the business world. As I noted in my last column, I’m looking to rejoin the workforce and have started the job hunt. But things have changed a bit since I was last hired by a new company in 1998.

One of the trends that I’ve been reading a lot about lately is the crazy, riddle-me-this interview question. The website Glassdoor.com has compiled a list of some of the most off-the-wall ones from their readers, like “How many cocktail umbrellas are there in a given time in the U.S.?” and “What is the smallest number divisible by 225 that consists of all 1's and 0's?”

This isn’t an entirely new concept. There have been multiple books written about interviewing at Microsoft alone, including one called How Would You Move Mount Fuji?: Microsoft's Cult of the Puzzle—How the World's Smartest Companies Select the Most Creative Thinkers.

Given how bizarre their questions can be, I guess I was lucky that the one time I had a brief phone interview with a Microsoft HR screener the only question that caught me off guard was, “What would you say to (CEO) Steve Ballmer if you met him?” Hint: “Who?” is not the right answer.

It’s not surprising that these types of interview questions have risen in popularity just as the job market has tanked during this recession. With so few jobs available and so many applicants, it’s only natural that hiring companies want to humiliate you and watch you squirm and grovel for the job … strike that, I meant dance for the pleasure of the king and his courtesans … no no no, I meant find the best candidates with the most creative problem-solving skills and ability to think on their feet. Of course.

I've been boning up on my interviewing skills by studying the questions compiled in this article very closely and formulating my responses. You can never be too prepared, right? 

Q: If you could describe Hershey, Godiva and Dove chocolate as people, how would you describe them?

A: Hmmm … let’s see. Hershey is like an old lady who’s kinda waxy but still pretty cool, Godiva is like a snooty Belgian who’s overpriced and got way too much liqueur in her, and Dove is … uh … always fun in a bar? 

Q: How do you evaluate Subway's 5-foot-long sub policy?

A: (Bursts into song) Five. Five dollar. Five dollar foot long. Any any any. HA. That song is awesome.

Q: Sell me an invisible pen.

A: Invisible pens are so cool. You could take them to interviews and pitch them at the head of the person asking you lame-o questions and they’d be all “Dang! What was that?” 

Q: If you walk into a liquor store to count the unsold bottles, but the clerk is screaming at you to leave, what do you do?

A: Oh man, if she’s anything like Shaylene down at the Quik-Pak, you LEAVE. I swear, she’d be tapping her heater against the glass before I got to TWO. Ooh-wee, she crazy! 

Q: Five guys, all of different ages, enter a bar and take a seat at a round table. What is the probability that they are seated in ascending order of age?

A: I don’t know. 20 to 1? Is that even a probability? Are they sitting at my table? Because I tell you one thing, there is a 100 percent chance that the drunkest one is sitting next to me. Is that anything?

Q: What is your strategy at table tennis?

A: Finally, an easy one! I don't play table tennis ... boo-yah!

Q: Would you be OK hearing "no" from seven out of 10 customers?

A: If I was a stripper, yes. Wait.

Q: What did you play with as a child?

A: Invisible pens.

Q: If we were playing Russian roulette and had one bullet, I randomly spun the chamber and fired but nothing was fired. Would you rather fire the gun again or re-spin the chamber and then fire on your turn?

A: Whichever way gives me the best of chance of shooting myself in the head so that I can get out of the rest of this interview.

That last one works pretty much no matter what the question. You’re welcome.