The following items and postings were found on Craigslist for the DuPage County area. Note: Patch has no control over the status of these posts on Craigslist and how long they remain available.
Creepy Five-Foot Harlequin Doll
“What a stunning face! Quite a conversation piece.” Do by “conversation piece,” you mean “unstoppable screaming,” Woodridge seller? Straight out of every horror movie ever comes this five-foot “harlequin joker clown,” three words that may as well translate into “will come to life and take your soul.” But it’s a bargain damnation at just $25, so… score?
World's (Second) Hottest Peppers
A Warrenville seller is offering up a dozen ghost peppers, which they claim are the hottest in the world, but my Googling skills tell me hasn’t been true since 2012 (darn you, Trinidad Moruga Scorpion!) Still, with a Scoville rating of over 1,000,000 SHU—100 times hotter than even the fiercest jalapeño—these are some seriously terrifying veggies. Taste at your own risk for $10 for the dozen.
Pantyhose by the Gallon
This is admittedly the third time I’ve featured women’s underwear in a Best of Craigslist in just a few months, but c’mon, it’s being sold as a “17-gallon tote” of pantyhose. (And—this is true—this was not the strangest underwear post of the week, but the other was too freaky to use here.) Get your 200 pairs of “new [or] in like-new condition” pantyhose out of Woodridge for $200.
Sad, ‘Pouting’ Chicago Bear
Hey why so sad, No. 12? Chicago is (by some crazy miracle, thank you ) 2-0, so there’s no need for despair. Except, well, being No. 12, this Downers Grove seller’s figurine must represent backup QB Josh McCown, who probably won’t see any time if Jay Cutler keeps winning nail-biters. Also, he doesn’t have a face, though that does mean no annoying over-analysis of facial expressions, right? The 42” figurine is $120.
Supersized Golf Ball and Tee
I’ve been quoted calling golf the game of the gods (yes I’m an addict), and if the deities do indeed prefer the gentleman’s game to, say, playing dice, this might be their Titelist of choice. Alternatively, this Lisle’s seller’s supersized golf ball and tee would make interesting décor for the home of any fellow golf nuts out there. The 11-inch-diameter ball and its stand go for $175.
Harley Barbies and Kens
The most adorable biker gang you’ll ever meet—four Barbies, two Kens, plus a “bonus Barbie”—is available from this Darien seller. I kid, of course Mattel’s motorcycle enthusiasts are 99-percenters (in the not-outlaw-biker sense, not the Occupy sense) and they’re adorable. Pick them up for $210.
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